Kidney Transplant...Footprints in the Sand

Once I realized that Heaven's answer to my prayer

was a transplant, it became a lot easier to go along for the

ride. Even though there were many tests and pain through

2013, I consider myself very fortunate not to be on dialysis.

I know so many more people who were far worse off than

I am.

The waiting was the hardest (being extremely tired

much of the time). As time went on, I saw that I had

enough energy to get up, get dressed, go to my many

doctors appointments and sit in a recliner most of the

day. I know that does not sound like much, but being

at 10% kidney function and not on dialysis was highly

unusual for someone in my position. I was so fortunate

to also have a daughter that took time off work each week

to take me to and from appointments.

I also missed my friends at church and doing the

many things I once did, but I realized I needed to put

my health first or I would not be here very long. I needed

to slow my life down. Listening to my body more I found

out a lot about what it needed from me. As I listened I felt

a strength that was not my own. I also never had a specific

feeling that I was in jeopardy of losing my life.

I felt like someone else was taking care of me, like

in the “Footprints in the Sand” poem. The narrator in the

poem wonder's why the Lord had not helped them in their

time of need. The Lord replied “During your times of

trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I Carried You.” I feel that I have been living
that poem since I was first diagnosed w/renal (kidney) failure

in Jan. 2013. I feel the Lord carrying me daily. I don't

believe I could feel as good as I do with now only 7%

kidney function without His help. It is the best kind of

strength I have ever felt.

After much prayer, I decided to go to Utah to get

the transplant. They were on top of everything, rated

highly in the medical community, and I felt confirmation

that the University of Utah was the right place for me to

go. I left California in Oct. 2013 for Salt Lake City to

beat the snow. I found being in Utah a wonderful experience

and noticed an improvement in how I felt. All the while

acknowledging that the “Footprints in the Sand” poem

was playing out in my life on a daily basis.

I have grown and learned so many things of

significance through this experience. Do I wish this

experience had not happened? Surprisingly the

answer would be “No”. I feel like I have received

a college degree worth of knowledge and growth

through this journey. There are so many benefits

from what has happened for myself, my family,

friends (both new and old) and even strangers with

whom I have shared my story.

I feel a more intense desire to help people. I feel
more empathy for them than ever before. If I

can get through something like this, then maybe I

can give someone encouragement or help them get

through a struggle, or share the universal message
of hope.

Kidney Disease...The Power of Prayer

          Looking back to January 2013 I could hardly

believe the words out of the doctor's mouth. “You have

stage five renal failure with 10% of your kidneys

functioning.” He said it was not “life-threatening,” but

that was not true. After researching it on the internet I

found that it was indeed life threatening, and if I did

not go on dialysis the disease would be fatal. Something

needed to be done immediately.

          I was sent to a kidney specialist. A true God-send

for me. She is one of the best in her field, and I was truly

blessed the day she came into my life. She did a lot of

tests from head to toe to rule out causes. She immediately

had me get an iron infusion and a Procrit shot to help do

what my kidneys could no longer do.

         During this time I prayed for a miracle and expected

one. I believed I had faith to have one, since I had

previously experienced major health scares. Maybe

I was praying for the wrong thing.

         My prayers for a miracle were ongoing. I had

Priesthood blessings which gave me much peace and

comfort. I had many people praying for me which filled

me with gratitude for such love, support, and being

alive.

          However, I did not feel my prayers were being

heard. That was one of the hardest times through this

experience. I had previously received fast answers to

my prayers that I was shocked when I felt I wasn't

receiving any answers. That went on for three months

with no answers. It felt dark, and I hated that void in

my life...not feeling that my Heavenly Father was right

there with me. During that time I had some depressed

days; Let's call them “pity party” days. Thank goodness

they were few and far between, but I learned and grew

through them all.

           One thing I discovered was that I needed to

mourn the loss of my kidneys like the death of a loved

one. I was going through the emotions without realizing

it, essentially experiencing the five stages of grief.

            I was lucky. I went through the denial, some

depression, and then acceptance. Most of the time, I

just wanted to know what Heavenly Father wanted me

to learn from this so that I could move on. However,

I quickly learned that my time was different than His,

things were on His timetable, he had numerous things

for me to experience. It was going to be an interesting

journey..,