Kidney Transplant...The Test After The Test

        

         We got home and got settled in. My daughter was

comfortable lying on the couch, and I was comfortable

in my recliner. My husband had been here in Utah for

a week and needed to get back to work in California, so

he had to leave...that was hard. My other daughter and

my brother were here for a few weeks to help both of

us during recovery. We were very blessed to have them

sacrifice their time and energy to help us.

           It was very difficult to even walk at all. The pain

was much more than I ever thought. Thank goodness for

the pain pills; that helped some. I thought that once I

received the kidney I would have a lot more energy and

feel great. I forgot I was in my early sixties, and my body

would need a lot longer to heal then my daughter who is

twenty-five years my junior.

          Unfortunately, my right leg was bothering me.

While I was in the hospital, I complained of pain and

numbness from my right hip to my knee. The doctors told

me not to worry, and it was likely from the surgery. It

would eventually go away. I also had pain in my foot, but

they did not seem too worried about that either. To ease

the leg pain, even a little bit, the only place I could stay

was in the recliner chair. I slept there, too. Little did I

know I would be sleeping in that chair for a month, only

sleeping about two–three hours each night. I knew that

I needed more sleep for my body to heal properly, but that

was the only place I could be comfortable at all. My

daughter was able to sleep in her own bed, which was a

blessing for her and her recovery.

          Early the next morning I had an appt. with the

surgeon. That was extremely difficult to go and do all

that moving around. The pain was terrible! The doctors

said that the pain in my right hip, thigh, and leg were

from the nerve. It was likely stretched during surgery

and would take a long time to heal. It felt like the numbness

of Novocaine that you might get at the dentist's office, but

with hot needles stabbing continually at the same time.

The staples and stitches from the kidney transplant

were painful as well. However, one bright note...the kidney

was functioning great! There are blessings even in the worst

of circumstances...we just have to look for them.

          Weeks went by, and I still couldn't do anything but

stay in my recliner. (Thank goodness it was comfortable.)

I was very surprised by how tired and weak I felt. I had

to take between 50-60 pills (result of the transplant) which

were giving me terrible side effects: tremors, hot flashes,

weakness, feeling tired, insomnia, and un-steadiness, to

name a few symptoms plus, we found out the pain in the

bottom of my left foot was actually gout. It felt like I was

stepping on shards of glass each time I put pressure on my

left foot. So, the pain was excruciating! I stayed on pain

pills longer than expected because of it, although, even the

pain pills didn't seem to help.

         I kept wondering why I had to go through so much

pain and suffering after the transplant when I had felt so

much better before the transplant even with my kidney

function as low as 7%...at least I had energy. During this

journey of pain and suffering (with so much time to ponder

life), I learned a few things.

         I had a few epiphanies that have impacted my life.

I found that all sadness, pain, suffering (physical and

mental) connect with the atonement (that Jesus Christ

suffered on our behalf.) During the first part of my journey,

I learned to listen to Him and let Him “drive the bus” so

to speak. Stop trying to take the steering wheel away from

Him. He knows so much better what is best for each of us.

I learned to depend on Him more and have patience.

You cannot force a tulip to come up in December...you need

to let nature take its course and be patient until the Spring

when it has had the time needed to grow, and then blossom.

         During the second part of my journey, I found the

principle of acceptance was key in my learning process.

It's amazing to me that when we accept what the Lord has

in our path, it is much easier to follow Him than resist or

try to force a 'square peg into a round hole'. He always

knows what will help us learn and grow the most. Through

this journey, I have learned so much about empathy and

want to help others more.

         I thought that getting the transplant would be the

end of the waiting and the physical and mental roller-

coaster but that was not to be the case. As my daughter

has said, “This is the test after the test.” There were

more important tests yet to come during this journey

of a kidneytransplant.

Kidney Transplant...Footprints in the Sand

Once I realized that Heaven's answer to my prayer

was a transplant, it became a lot easier to go along for the

ride. Even though there were many tests and pain through

2013, I consider myself very fortunate not to be on dialysis.

I know so many more people who were far worse off than

I am.

The waiting was the hardest (being extremely tired

much of the time). As time went on, I saw that I had

enough energy to get up, get dressed, go to my many

doctors appointments and sit in a recliner most of the

day. I know that does not sound like much, but being

at 10% kidney function and not on dialysis was highly

unusual for someone in my position. I was so fortunate

to also have a daughter that took time off work each week

to take me to and from appointments.

I also missed my friends at church and doing the

many things I once did, but I realized I needed to put

my health first or I would not be here very long. I needed

to slow my life down. Listening to my body more I found

out a lot about what it needed from me. As I listened I felt

a strength that was not my own. I also never had a specific

feeling that I was in jeopardy of losing my life.

I felt like someone else was taking care of me, like

in the “Footprints in the Sand” poem. The narrator in the

poem wonder's why the Lord had not helped them in their

time of need. The Lord replied “During your times of

trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I Carried You.” I feel that I have been living
that poem since I was first diagnosed w/renal (kidney) failure

in Jan. 2013. I feel the Lord carrying me daily. I don't

believe I could feel as good as I do with now only 7%

kidney function without His help. It is the best kind of

strength I have ever felt.

After much prayer, I decided to go to Utah to get

the transplant. They were on top of everything, rated

highly in the medical community, and I felt confirmation

that the University of Utah was the right place for me to

go. I left California in Oct. 2013 for Salt Lake City to

beat the snow. I found being in Utah a wonderful experience

and noticed an improvement in how I felt. All the while

acknowledging that the “Footprints in the Sand” poem

was playing out in my life on a daily basis.

I have grown and learned so many things of

significance through this experience. Do I wish this

experience had not happened? Surprisingly the

answer would be “No”. I feel like I have received

a college degree worth of knowledge and growth

through this journey. There are so many benefits

from what has happened for myself, my family,

friends (both new and old) and even strangers with

whom I have shared my story.

I feel a more intense desire to help people. I feel
more empathy for them than ever before. If I

can get through something like this, then maybe I

can give someone encouragement or help them get

through a struggle, or share the universal message
of hope.

Waiting for a Kidney Transplant...Faith precedes the miracle

      
            It was March 2013 (three months since I found

out my kidneys had only 10% function; kidney function

for a healthy person is 60-100%). I had been praying for

a miracle which wasn't going to happen in the way I had

hoped. I had to come to grips with that. I felt my prayers

were not being heard. My daughter suggested that I pray

for the Spirit to guide me (validation #1). I agreed, and

that night was a turning point in this life changing journey.

Finally, the answers started coming one after the other.

        The next evening a friend of my husband's visited

unexpectedly and when he left, my husband told me

of the informative discussion they had. His wife previously

had a kidney transplant a few years ago and was doing

fantastic (validation #2). I told my husband that I was

happy for her, but I really did not want a kidney transplant.

I was adamant about it.

          The next day I received a call at lunch from my

husband telling me he bumped into another close friend.

She is a nurse who works at many schools. It had been

months since he had seen her last. I asked if he had

told her about the kidney situation..at that time he said

he had not. He called me again later that day, and said that 

he bumped into her again. He told her about my 10% kidney

function. She said she had a very strong feeling that I

needed to get a kidney transplant before the end of the

year (validation #3). When my husband mentioned that, I

knew in my heart that the Lord was answering my prayers...

I needed a kidney transplant. Up to that point I had thought

a kidney transplant was the closest thing to death...not the

answer to my prayers.

            The following day I got up and turned on the

television. I was so surprised to hear the word donor

coming from it. It intrigued me because I usually never

watched that station. The show was about three different

people waiting for a kidney transplant (validation #4).  

I was glued to the set. I felt it was another answer to

prayer...for me to learn about kidney disease and

transplants... and I did.

          My mind and heart were making a complete 180

degree turn-around. Then, the next day our friend, the

school nurse (mentioned above) stopped by our house

with flowers and dinner. We had a great discussion. She

helped educate me about kidney transplants and their

benefits. She shared with me some things in her life

which connected to what she was telling me about

kidney transplants. (validation #5) Consequently, she

felt she was being helped by our discussion as well.

           I thought my prayers were not being heard. 

However, I realized that they were indeed being heard; 

the answers were coming through other people to me, 

one right after another. There were five validations that

the Lord was letting me know His will for me to receive

a transplant.

           Now that I knew what He wanted for me, I

researched the Internet and talked with doctors. My

nephrologist (kidney doctor) could hardly believe it.

When she asked what happened, I pointed to the

heavens and said I finally found out what He wanted.

I have been at peace with my decision ever since.

The next phase of growing and understanding was

about to begin.