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Saturday, February 15, 2014

Kidney Disease...The Power of Prayer













          Looking back to January 2013 I could hardly
believe the words out of the doctor's mouth. “You have
stage five renal failure with 10% of your kidneys
functioning.” He said it was not “life-threatening,” but
that was not true. After researching it on the internet I
found that it was indeed life threatening, and if I did
not go on dialysis the disease would be fatal. Something
needed to be done immediately.

          I was sent to a kidney specialist. A true God-send
for me. She is one of the best in her field, and I was truly
blessed the day she came into my life. She did a lot of
tests from head to toe to rule out causes. She immediately
had me get an iron infusion and a Procrit shot to help do
what my kidneys could no longer do.

         During this time I prayed for a miracle and expected
one. I believed I had faith to have one, since I had
previously experienced major health scares. Maybe
I was praying for the wrong thing.

         My prayers for a miracle were ongoing. I had
Priesthood blessings which gave me much peace and
comfort. I had many people praying for me which filled
me with gratitude for such love, support, and being
alive.

          However, I did not feel my prayers were being
heard. That was one of the hardest times through this
experience. I had previously received fast answers to
my prayers that I was shocked when I felt I wasn't
receiving any answers. That went on for three months
with no answers. It felt dark, and I hated that void in
my life...not feeling that my Heavenly Father was right
there with me. During that time I had some depressed
days; Let's call them “pity party” days. Thank goodness
they were few and far between, but I learned and grew
through them all.

           One thing I discovered was that I needed to
mourn the loss of my kidneys like the death of a loved
one. I was going through the emotions without realizing
it, essentially experiencing the five stages of grief.

            I was lucky. I went through the denial, some
depression, and then acceptance. Most of the time, I
just wanted to know what Heavenly Father wanted me
to learn from this so that I could move on. However,
I quickly learned that my time was different than His,
things were on His timetable, he had numerous things
for me to experience. It was going to be an interesting
journey..,
       

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